Épisode La main dans le sac S03E01 - That '70s Show Saison 3

Sous-sol des Forman

Les garçons font un « cercle ». Éric parle du fait que Hyde est en prison et semble se moquer quelque peu de sa situation. Kelso se demande s'il a déjà trouvé une petite amie. La réponse est plus qu'évidente pour Fez car cela fait bientôt trois heures qu'il est enfermé : oui. Éric dessine alors la petite amie potentielle avec une ardoise magique et les trois garçons rigolent. On voit alors la chaise vide de Hyde puis ce dernier réapparaître subitement. Ses amis sont gênés car il a tout entendu.

Cuisine des Forman

Kitty voudrait parler de Hyde mais son mari refuse, il est furieux après le jeune homme. Éric entre dans la pièce et informe ses parents que Hyde est sorti. Red trouve la justice bien trop laxiste et pense que tout cela peut devenir assez vite hors de contrôle.

Il imagine alors une situation dans les années 30 où Hyde est un revendeur d'herbe et Éric, un jeune homme bien naïf, qui se laisse avoir. Donna veut que son petit ami sorte de tout cela et pique l'herbe. Hyde la menace d'une arme pour qu'elle lui rende mais Éric intervient et les deux jeunes hommes se battent. Hélas, le coup part et Donna est tuée. Red apparaît alors pour faire la morale aux téléspectateurs.

Retour au présent. Red interroge Éric, il veut savoir si Hyde l'a forcé à fumer. La réponse de son fils est bien évidemment négative.

Le « Hub »

Hyde boit tranquillement un soda lorsque Jackie arrive et lui saute dessus. Elle trouve que ce qu'il a fait était romantique mais le jeune homme ne semble pas voir les choses de la même façon. Léo sort des W-C et demande à Hyde pourquoi il était absent au travail. Lorsque le jeune homme lui en apprend les raisons, Léo est émerveillé et lui propose de faire partie de son club dans lequel il recueille de l'argent pour aller à Amsterdam.

Allée des Forman

Red sort les poubelles alors que Bob et Midge se dirigent vers lui. La conversation tourne très vite autour de ce qui est arrivé à Hyde. Si Bob paraît choqué, il est évident que Midge est déçue de ne pas avoir sur avant qu'elle pouvait se procurer de l'herbe juste à côté de chez elle.

Cuisine des Forman

Alors que tout le monde dîne, Kitty voudrait parler ouvertement de ce qui est arrivé. Laurie en profite pour prendre la parole et affirme qu'elle voudrait que Hyde s'en aille. Contre toute attente, Red exige que le garçon fasses ses valise. Éric proteste ainsi que sa mère mais Hyde s'éxecute sans un mot. Éric est vraiment furieux et quitte la pièce.

Sous-sol des Forman

Hyde prépare ses affaires alors que Fez mange le sandwich que Kitty lui avait préparé. Éric n'arrive pas à rester calme et demande à son ami où il va aller dormir. Hyde pense aller au magasin photo mais Éric ne trouve pas cela normal et veut faire quelque chose pour aider. Il voudrait annoncer à son père qu'il fume aussi comme ça, il ne pourra pas le mettre dehors. Hyde refuse, il trouve cette idée totalement stupide. Fez cherche à détendre l'atmosphère mais sa blague tombe à plat.

Salon des Forman

Kitty et Red reçoivent Léo pour parler de Hyde. Léo fait son possible pour défendre Hyde mais Red ne veut rien entendre. Cependant, il s'installe confortablement sur le canapé des Forman et ne semble pas prêt à en partir.

Perron des Forman

Jackie est sur un nuage, persuadée que Hyde est amoureux d'elle. Elle explique à Donna, sceptique, ce qu'il s'est passé. Donna est outrée est très en colère après Jackie. Elle l'informe de la situation de Hyde. Jackie voit cela à son avantage et pense que Hyde va se réfugier chez elle. Donna n'en peut plus et se lève pour aller tout dire aux Forman, Jackie lui saute dessus.

Cuisine des Forman

Donna a réussi à tout dire aux Forman, même si selon Kitty, Jackie est restée accrochée à son cou pendant ses explications pour l'empêcher de parler. Hyde fait alors irruption pour rendre ses clés mais Red lui redonne sans un mot. Seulement, Kitty voudrait que son mari s'excuse. A la place de cela, Red lui crie dessus afin de lui dire tout le mal qu'il pense de son « beau » geste et tout ce que cela a entraîné. Éric arrive ensuite et, sans aucune idée de ce qu'il se passé, révèle qu'il fume aussi. Kitty apprend à son fils que Red a finalement décidé de ne pas virer Hyde. Un gros moment de silence s'installe. Red demande à son fils depuis quand il fume.

Sous-sol des Forman

Environ cinq ans plus tôt. Kelso, Hyde et Éric font un « cercle » pour la première fois. Hyde a trouvé de l'herbe à côté de sa mère, inconsciente. Kelso, obsédé au départ par ses études, n'y pense même plus et se met plutôt à fantasmer sur son professeur d'anglais. Éric est déjà épris de Donna et se réjouit d'avoir fait de la lutte avec elle car il a pu la toucher. On entend alors la voix de Red.

Cuisine des Forman

Retour au présent. Red réitère sa question. Éric ment comme il peut et Donna en profite pour s'en aller. Kitty essaie une fois de plus de sauver la situation et dispute les deux garçons en leur cherchant des excuses. Red sait que tout ceci est de sa faute car il a été bien trop laxiste, il prévient que la partie de rigolade est terminée et quitte la pièce. Éric se demande quand a eu lieu cette partie de rigolade !

Sous-sol des Forman

Tout le monde est plus ou moins furieux après Éric. Seule Jackie semble ailleurs et ramène la situation à sa petite personne, en annonce que l'important est que Hyde et elle s'aiment. Ce dernier en a plus qu'assez et lui dit ses quatre vérités mais la jeune fille n'y croit pas. Soudain, Red entre dans la pièce et installe un détecteur de fumée.

Cinq ans plus tôt. Éric montre à Hyde et Kelso les bonbons à la menthe qu'il a trouvé dans la chambre de sa sœur. Mais après que Kelso en ait mangé, Hyde révèle que ce sont des pilules contraceptives.

Fairgirl

FORMAN BASEMENT

Eric, Kelso and Fez

ERIC (with an Etch a Sketch in his hands): Man, who'd have thought? Hyde getting busted for possession. I mean, I always thought it'd be, like, armed robbery or... pimping. You know, something cool.

KELSO (giggling): Yeah, Hyde in jail. Hey, guys, do you think he's anyone's girlfriend yet?

FEZ: Kelso, he's been in jail for three hours. Of course he's someone's girlfriend. He has very pretty eyes.

ERIC: Well, if he was someone's girlfriend, I think it might look something like this (he shows a drawing he made with the Etch a Sketch)

KELSO: Yeah (talking to the drawing) Hey there, curlicue, would you like to perform an unspeakable act on me... or would you prefer that I perform one on you? (High-pitched Voice) Well, they both sound good. Dealer's choice.

FEZ (taking the drawing): You have done a horrible thing with a children's toy.

A hand takes the Etch a Sketch from Fez

HYDE: Huh. Bet you didn't want me to see this, did ya?

ERIC (taking the Etch a Sketch and shaking it): Hey! Welcome back, man! We were worried about...I'm sorry. I'm just....I'm so sorry.

KELSO: Yeah, uh- You know, curlicue... is- can be - is a term of endearment.

FEZ: So, when do we meet your new fella?

OPENING CREDITS

FORMAN KITCHEN

Red is sitting down at the kitchen table. Kitty is standing

KITTY: Red, we really need to talk about...

RED: No. No. No!

KITTY: Steven!

RED: No! I don't want to talk about Steven! Subject closed.

KITTY: Red...

RED: For God's sakes, Kitty. We took him into our home. We treated him like our
own son.

ERIC (looking into the fridge): Treat him better than your own son.

RED: I'll tell you one thing. I'm not bailing him out. He can rot in that jail, for all I care.

ERIC: Actually, uh, they already let him out. Gave him probation.

RED: Probation? Well, isn't that just ducky? You know how they treat their
criminals in Russia? First offense, five years in Siberia. Second offense, ten years. Believe you me, there is no third offense.

KITTY: Unless the criminal likes to make snow angels. Ahahahaha!

RED: Hey. Steven brought that stuff into my house. And I'm puttin'a stop to it before things get out of control.

KITTY: Oh, out of control how?

RED: Well, I'll tell you how....

FORMAN PORCH

Black and white 1930's shot of the Forman porch with the title "The Dope Fiends".

Hyde is standing on the porch with a hat on his head. Eric walks out with a bunch of flowers in his hand. He is also dressed like someone from the 1930's

HYDE: Say, chum, where ya headed?

ERIC: Just to see my best girl Donna, that's where. We're gonna split a soda pop. It'll be keen.

HYDE: Soda pop, eh? I have something that's even keener than soda pop. It's called marijuana.

ERIC: "Mari-what-a"?

HYDE: Come. I'll show you (he throws the flowers away)

FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Ragtime music is playing and Jackie is dancing on it like a madwoman. Kelso is sitting in a chair laughing hysterically

ERIC: Hyde, you were right. Marijuana's the bee's knees.

HYDE: Yep. All it takes is one puff to make you hopelessly addicted.

ERIC: I am... hopelessly addicted.

Kelso is still laughing hysterically. Fez comes in with a bag

FEZ: Here's a new shipment, fresh from whatever-the-hell country I am from.

Donna walks in

DONNA: Gee whillikers, Eric. Where have you been? You missed choir practice.

ERIC: Sorry, dollface. But now, thanks to marijuana, I'm incurably insane.

Close-up shots from Eric's head, sweating and looking terrified, then back to the living room

DONNA: Well, I'm not gonna let a swell kid like you ruin your life (she takes the bag from Eric and tries to walk off)

HYDE (drawing a gun and pointing it at Donna): Not so fast, sister. I need that for the schoolchildren.

ERIC: No! (he wrestles with Hyde over the gun) GUNSHOT, Donna falls to the floor

DONNA: Alas, marijuana has ended my young, promising life.

Red comes in through the front door

RED: This is what's happening all over America. And it could happen in your home, or yours, or yours!

FORMAN KITCHEN

Back in the 70's

KITTY: I just don't think that's gonna happen, Red.

RED (to Eric): Has Hyde ever pressured you to use this stuff?

ERIC: No. Absolutely not. In fact...Yeah, I can honestly say I have never felt any
pressure.

Red smiles and pats him on the shoulder

THE HUB

Hyde is sitting at a table, Jackie walks up to him from behind and puts her hands over his eyes

JACKIE: Guess who?

HYDE: It's either Jackie or the cold, clammy hands of death.

JACKIE: It's Jackie!

HYDE (sighs): Damn it.

JACKIE: Oh, Steven, my hero. When that cop found my bag, and you said it was
yours, and they sent you to the big house... it was, like,the most romantic thing
ever.

HYDE: Yeah, maybe for you. I was deloused.

Leo comes out of the toilet

LEO: Hey, man, you missed your shift at the Fotohut. You better have a damn good excuse.

HYDE: I got busted.

LEO: Damn. That's a good excuse. So what'd they get you for?

JACKIE: For loving me (she takes Hyde's hand)

LEO (laughs): 'Cause she's, like, 14 ?

HYDE: I got busted for possession.

LEO: Oh, man. Join the club.

HYDE: Yeah, thanks.

LEO: No. I mean, join the club, man. We meet every Thursday. We're tryin' to
raise money for a field trip to Amsterdam.

FORMAN DRIVEWAY

Red is taking out the trash, Bob and Midge walk up to him

RED: Hey there, Red. Takin' out the trash, I see (clears throat) Yeah, well, better
late than never.

RED: Is that supposed to mean something, Bob?

BOB: No. Just happened to notice that that low-life Hyde you've been harboring...
has been busted for possession.

MIDGE (gasps): My gosh! That stuff was right here in our own neighborhood? And to think of all the times we had to drive across town...to get it!

BOB: X-nay, Midge!

FORMAN KITCHEN

Red, Laurie, Hyde, Eric and Kitty are sitting down having breakfast

KITTY: Well...as you all know, we had a little incident yesterday. And I think that as a family, we should discuss rational solutions... to make sure that this never happens again.

LAURIE: Can I start? Um, I'm not comfortable living with a criminal. I think we should kick Hyde out. All in favor?

KITTY: Laurie, stop it. Red, what do you think?

LAURIE: Kick him out! Kick him out! Kick him out! Kick him out!

KITTY: Laurie, there is no way we're kicking Steven out.

RED: Steven, we're kicking you out.

LAURIE: Yay, Daddy!

KITTY: Red!

ERIC: What? Dad, that's not fair.

RED: Not fair? I took him in. I gave him a shot. He blew it. It's his fault. Look, I
don't want it in my house. I don't want it around you two. I just don't want it!

KITTY: Red, putting him out on the street is not the solution. This young man needs our guidance now more than ever.

HYDE: No, Mrs. Forman. It's cool. If, uh, Red thinks that I'm not good enough to live in this house... then I guess I'm not (he gets up and walks out)

ERIC (shouting): You know what? You're....You're bull....I'm....You're very....I'm...I'm very mad at you! (he walks off)

FORMAN BASEMENT

Kelso, Fez, Donna and Eric watch Hyde pack his things

ERIC: God, this sucks! I can't believe Red's kicking you out. I mean, I'm sorry,
where are you supposed to go?

HYDE: I'm gonna go to the Fotohut. I'll sleep on the floor. They got a hose out back. Mrs. Forman made me a sandwich.

Fez is smelling Hyde's sandwhich

ERIC: Man, this is so wrong! Look I'm not gonna let you get kicked out for
something we all do.

KELSO: Hey, hey, don't go draggin' me into this.

ERIC: You know what? I'm gonna tell Red that I do it too.

ALL: No!

DONNA: Have you suddenly become the stupidest man ever? I mean, is Kelso no longer the reigning king?

KELSO: Oh, I'm the king.

ERIC: This can work. If I tell Red, then he's gonna be a hypocrite for kicking you out... and not making me go with him. Because, I mean, he can't kick me out. Because, deep down, he loves me.

HYDE: Look, Forman. I appreciate what you're trying to do, you know? But you getting into trouble is not going to help me get out of trouble, okay? Okay?

ERIC: Okay.

HYDE: Okay. Everybody just stop worrying, all right? I'll be fine.

FEZ: Yes. It will be good for you in the Fotohut. Maybe you will develop some
character (laughs) Get it? Develop? (laughs, everyone else is silent) Oh, fine. I
guess I'm not funny. Kiss my brown ass.

FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Red is sitting in his chair, Leo is sitting on the couch

KITTY: Here's your tea, Leo.

LEO: Oh, wow. Tea, man. That's, like, exotic (giggles) Hey, look at me. I'm the king of England! Off with her head. Tea (giggles)

KITTY: Well, um... I think it's great that Steven has a boss who cares enough to...to come over and talk to us on his behalf. So, um, I'm just gonna let you fellas get to know each other. Sit up straight, Leo (she leaves)

LEO: Hey, man, I don't think you should kick Hyde out, because he's a good kid.

RED: He's a doper.

LEO: Well, you say that like it's a bad thing, man. Hey, I'm gonna let you in on a
little secret. I've indulged once or twice myself.

RED (sarcastic): Really? I'm shocked.

LEO: Yeah, I know. Upstanding businessman. Last guy you'd expect. But it's true, man.

RED: Well, Mr... Hippie. If you say so, that's good enough for me (he gestures to Leo)

LEO: Oh, that's great, man (he folds himself comfortably on the couch) Now, please, get out of my house.

PINCIOTTI PORCH

Jackie is humming and writing

DONNA: Okay, what are you writing? (reads aloud) Jackie and Steven Hyde. Mrs. Jackie Hyde. Dr. And Mrs. Steven Hyde? All right, what's going on?

JACKIE: Okay. Donna, Steven and I are in love!

DONNA: Um, you do know that he once compared you to a tick, right?

JACKIE: Oh, really? Well, if he thinks I'm such a tick...then why'd he tell the cops the bag was his when it was actually mine?

DONNA: Are you telling me that bag was yours?

JACKIE: Yeah! And he went to jail for it! Isn't that fabulous?

DONNA: Oh, my God. You... tick! You're the reason this whole mess happened.

JACKIE: Oh, Donna, stop. My head is-Whoo!

DONNA: Jackie, you have to tell the Formans what happened. Do you know that Red is kicking Hyde out?

JACKIE: Oh, God. No, no, Donna. That's perfect! When Hyde is on the streets,
he'll have to turn to me. And as I care for him and buy him stuff, his love for me will grow.

DONNA: Oh, my God. Fine. I'm telling them.

JACKIE: No! No, no, no. You cannot ruin this for me, moose!

DONNA: Don't tell me what to do, midget.

JACKIE: No! (she jumps on Donna's back and they fall to the floor)

FORMAN KITCHEN

Red, Kitty and Donna are sitting at the kitchen table

KITTY: Well, well. Turns out you were all wrong about Steven. And you wanted to
kick him out.

RED: Yes, well...Thanks for telling us the truth, Donna.

KITTY: And we know it wasn't easy for you... especially with Jackie choking you
the whole time.

Steven walks into the kitchen with his bags all packed. He throws some keys on the table

RED: Um, Steven, wait. You can stay (he hands him back the keys)

HYDE: Cool (he takes the keys and walks to the basement)

KITTY: Wait, wait, wait. Wait (to Red) That's it? Isn't there anything else you would like to say to this brave and noble young man?

RED (sighs): You're right, Kitty (to Hyde) Dumb-ass! Do you realize that you put your entire future at risk?

Red starts to drone on: What kind of a moron would go and take the fall for some little- Crying and crying and crying. WWhen she's upset, I'm upset...And the next thing you know- I had to have tea with that greasy old hippie. And now I have hippie stink on my couch. Let me tell you something else. If you ever do anything like that again...I will kick your ass so hard your nose will bleed!

KITTY: And we love you.

HYDE: So, uh, just so I'm clear...everything's back to normal, right?

RED: Yeah, yeah, everything's back-

ERIC (storming in): All right, Dad! I've got something to say!

DONNA: Eric, for the love of God, don't.

ERIC: Dad, I do it too. That's right. So you can't kick Hyde out.

KITTY: Honey, we already decided not to kick Hyde out.

ERIC: Oh. Then...yaaayyy.....

RED: So, you do it too, huh? Since when?

ERIC: Since when? (he looks at Hyde)

HYDE: Uh.....

Cut to the Forman basement with a very young Hyde, Eric and Kelso. Hyde lights up some incense

YOUNG ERIC: I am so baked. I think. No, yeah, I am. I think.

YOUNG KELSO: You know, guys, I've been living my life all wrong. All I ever thought about was school....studying, reading, homework. Well, that's over. Thanks, Hyde.

YOUNG HYDE: Hey, man, don't thank me. Thank my mom. If she hadn't have passed out, I couldn't have raided her stash.

YOUNG KELSO: You have the best mom ever.

YOUNG HYDE: Hey, guys, you know what? Yesterday, I was wrestling with Donna. And I felt her boob. It was beautiful... and squishy.

YOUNG KELSO: Squishy. Hey, guys, I had this dream that I was kissing my English teacher. And when I woke up, I was stuck to my bed.

YOUNG HYDE: Kelso, man, that's not normal. You could die. Hey, isn't your English teacher a guy?

YOUNG KELSO: Yeah. Noo! I meant my Spanish teacher. She's a girl. Man! What's in this stuff?

YOUNG ERIC: Hey, guys, I'm having the best time ever. I think. No, yeah, I am.

Back to the Forman kitchen, Eric and Hyde are staring into space

RED: Eric? Eric! Are you on it right now? I asked you a question. Since when have you been using this?

ERIC: Uh, 'bout a week ago tomorrow.

DONNA: Um, what? Yeah! Coming, Mom! (she runs off)

KITTY: Okay. Okay, now. You're both smart boys. What were you thinking?

ERIC: Well, l- I'm not-

HYDE: Oh, oh, um....The problem was that we weren't thinking.

ERIC: We weren't thinking. And, you know, with the times... we're living in.

HYDE: Yeah, the times are, like....

ERIC: And, um...

KITTY: Peer pressure.

ERIC: And the peer pressure. Thank you, Mom.

HYDE: Yeah.

ERIC: Yeah, and I found that today, the need to experiment.....

RED: Oh! Don't try this blaming society crap with me. You know whose fault this is? Do you? Do you?

ERIC: Well, I have a pretty good idea.

RED: It's mine.

ERIC: Oh. All right.

HYDE: Okay.

RED: The problem is... I've been too lenient. So, from now on, no more easygoin', devil-may-care, everybody's-best-friend dad.

KITTY (laughing nervously): I'm just.....I'm so very nervous.

RED: I'm cracking down. And I'm cracking down hard. Starting right now...fun time is over! (he leaves)

ERIC: So where was I for fun time?

FORMAN BASEMENT

KELSO (to Donna): Take it back!

DONNA: No, Kelso. I'm sorry. Confessing to Red makes Eric the king.

KELSO: Hey, I shot my toe with a B.B. Gun once.

DONNA: You're right, Kelso. You're the king.

KELSO: Thank you!

DONNA (to Eric): I mean, when I say, "For the love of God, don't." Then, for the
love of God, don't.

ERIC: Donna, that could have meant anything. Okay. I'm sorry. I made a terrible mistake.

JACKIE: All right, excuse me. But I think we've all lost sight of what's really important here. We're in love.

HYDE: All right, all right. You know what? Enough of your girly fantasy crap. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for you. So get this through your little Easy-Bake Oven head: I don't love you. I don't like you. I can barely stand to look at you. Okay?

JACKIE: Oh, Steven, you're such a bad liar! (she hugs him)

Red comes in and sniffs around

RED: All right. Well, don't mind me. I'm just here to install this... smoke detector.

KELSO: Smoke detector? Does that detect any kind of smoke?

DONNA: Long live the king.

END CREDITS

FORMAN BASEMENT – THE CIRCLE

YOUNG ERIC: Hey, guys, look what I found in my sister Laurie's drawer. Mints. A whole month's worth.

YOUNG KELSO (eating one): They're not minty.

YOUNG HYDE: They're not mints. They're birth control pills, you headgear-wearing moron.

YOUNG KELSO: Hey, when I grow up, I'm gonna be handsome.

YOUNG HYDE: Really? Did your Mommy tell you that?