Épisode La culotte de Donna S03E15 - That '70s Show Saison 3

Allée des Forman

Fez, Hyde, Éric et Donna disputent une partie de basket-ball. Le duo Hyde/Donna mène le jeu et la jeune femme ne se gêne pas pour taquiner son petit ami à ce propos. Afin de l'empêcher de marquer, Éric baisse son pantalon et tout le monde peut voir....sa culotte de grand-mère ! Les garçons se moquent. Vexée, elle s'en va.

Sous-sol des Forman

Caroline est avec la bande. Elle a acheté des bonbons en forme de cœur avec des messages dessus pour Fez. Jackie leur demande de se trouver une chambre d'hôtel et Fez la remet à sa place. Caroline lui dit qu'elle l'a mérité. Elle dit au revoir à Fez et s'en va. Fez est contente d'avoir une petite amie et se vante, il fait remarquer à Jackie que cela lui a évité de se mettre avec elle.

Kelso montre un article à Éric, il veut devenir astronaute. Ses amis lui font remarquer qu'il faut être intelligent, Kelso pense que si un singe a été envoyé sur la Lune, il peut le faire. Hyde le rassure, si jamais il a besoin d'un parachute, il pourra utiliser les sous-vêtements de Donna. Éric supplie son ami d'arrêter car il ne veut pas de problème avec Donna alors que c'est la Saint Valentin. Hyde promet de se taire mais lorsque Donna arrive, il se moque d'elle. La jeune fille essaie de se justifier comme elle peut, elle n'avait plus que cela à se mettre. Éric lui présente ses excuses, Donna ne lui en veut pas. Éric se demande si c'est vrai mais finit par être rassuré et dit qu'elle est cool.

Cuisine des Forman

Éric prépare un dîner de Saint Valentin pour Donna sous la supervision de sa mère. Kitty lui propose de mettre la table avec le service en porcelaine mais Éric sait que cela n'a pas d'importance pour Donna car elle est « cool ». Il révèle alors à sa mère ce qu'il a fait et Kitty est choquée. Elle semble également douter que la jeune fille soit vraiment « cool ». La sonnerie de la porte d'entrée se fait entendre.

Salon des Forman

Kitty répond à la porte. C'est Kelso qui a apporté des fleurs à Laurie. Il explique à Kitty combien sa fille est gentille avec lui, ce dont la pauvre doute fortement. Kelso montre à l'étage et voit un autre garçon sortir de la chambre de Laurie. Lorsqu'il lui demande ce qu'il fait là, le jeune homme réalise qu'il aurait du sortir par la fenêtre alors il entre de nouveau dans la pièce. Kelso jette le bouquet par terre et s'en va.

Salle à manger des Forman

La table est enfin prête, Donna arrive. Kitty est heureuse de les voir ainsi après les avoir vu jouer ensemble si jeunes. Elle sait qu'au moins ça ne finira pas avec les fesses de Donna sur la tête de son fils. Réalisant ce qu'elle vient dire, Kitty s'éclipse avec son mari. Les parents partis, Éric offre à Donna un présent: il s'agit d'une culotte rouge ! Éric trouve son idée très drôle mais Donna n'apprécie pas du tout et s'en va.

Plus tard, Éric a invité ses copains à manger le repas de la Saint Valentin. Il se plaint de la réaction de Donna, il ne comprend rien aux filles. Fez est bien content de n'avoir jamais baissé le pantalon de Caroline, en tout cas pas en public. Comme d'habitude, Hyde se moque. Kelso est effondré, il prend un biscuit en forme de cœur et le brise pour montrer à quoi ressemble le sien. Hyde lui fait remarquer qu'il a fait subir la même chose à Jackie. Fez annonce à ses amis qu'il va demande à Caroline d'être officiellement sa petite amie.

Cuisine des Pinciotti

Jackie et Donna mangent des chocolats. Donna se plaint de l'attitude d'Éric tandis que Jackie jubile de voir Kelso souffrir. Elle propose à Donna de larguer Éric, elles s'en iront ensuite toutes les deux à Dallas pour être présentatrices météo.

Cuisine des Forman

Les parents rentrent. Hyde annonce la couleur avant de s'en aller : Éric a tout fait foirer. Kitty n'est pas surprise que cela se soit mal passé. Elle préfère s'en aller. Red décide de discuter avec son fils des femmes et de leur « tout va bien ». Rien ne va en fait, il prend pour exemple une paire de chaussures de sa femme qu'il a abîmé, ce qu'elle lui rappelle inlassablement alors qu'elle lui avait dit que tout allait bien. Éric pense que tout va s'arranger mais Red pense que c'est plutôt mal parti. Ils auront au moins duré plus qu'il ne le pensait.

Cinéma

Fez fait se demande officielle et Caroline accepte. Elle fait des remarques sur le film à l'écran. Elle trouve romantique le comportement de la jeune femme qui suit et harcèle l'homme qu'elle aime. Fez trouve cela bizarre. Caroline lui confie que s'il la quitte, elle le tue. Fez croit au départ qu'elle plaisante mais prend vite peur.

Cuisine des Pinciotti

Donna critique la grosse tête d'Éric. Jackie continue de se moquer de Kelso. Ce dernier arrive et demande à parler à Jackie en privé mais cette dernière insiste pour qu'il parle devant Donna, croyant qu'il va lui demander de coucher avec lui. Kelso lui présente alors ses excuses pour la façon dont il l'a fait souffrir et s'en va. Jackie dit alors à Donna qu'elle devrait être avec Éric car c'est lui qu'elle aime. De plus, elle ne devrait pas être seule le jour de la Saint Valentin.

Cuisine des Forman

Donna dit enfin ce qu'elle a sur le cœur et promet de le faire à l'avenir, ce que Éric attendait. Mais tout ne va pas bien pour autant.

Allée des Forman

Donna et Éric jouent au basket. Le jeune homme est en sous-vêtements et sa petite amie compte bien faire durer la chose. Red arrive et demande à son fils de se rhabiller.

Salon des Forman

Alors que Red lit tranquillement le journal, Kitty déboule dans le salon, met les fameuses chaussures au pied et soupire puis elle dit que tout va bien et s'en va.

Fairgirl

FORMAN DRIVEWAY

Fez, Eric, Donna and Hyde are shooting hoops

ALL (Donna scores): Oh!

DONNA: Oh! That's 16 for me and Hyde and four for the losers! You guys ought to get a mascot...a big, green, furry loser!

ERIC: That's...That's not even a thing.

DONNA: Come on. Take it to the hoop. Or maybe you're afraid, 'cause you know I'm gonna slap it down.

ERIC: Oh, yeah? Well-Yeah?

FEZ: You tell her, Eric!

Eric attempts to score, but Donna's slaps the ball down

ALL: Ooh!

DONNA: Oh! How can he stand the embarrassment?

HYDE: She told you what she was gonna do. You gotta listen, man.

DONNA: Eric, why don't you just give me the two points? Save yourself the
humiliation.

ERIC: Well, why don't you just save yourself the two points, and then the humiliation will be...J...Whatever! Come on!

DONNA: Oh, I'm comin', and there's nothin' you can do to stop me.

She turns to score and Eric pulls down her pants

DONNA: Eric!

HYDE: Oh, my God! Donna's wearing granny panties! Nice panties, Granny!

Donna runs off

ERIC: Oh, come on. You have to admit, that was some killer "D." Oh, no.

OPENING CREDITS

FORMAN BASEMENT

The gang are all there. Fez and Caroline sit down on the couch

CARONLINE: Okay, Fez, I got you some Valentine conversation hearts.

FEZ: Oh, thank you, Caroline. "Be mine." Okay. "Sweetheart." It really is. "Kiss me." Well, I'm not about to argue with candy.

JACKIE: Fez, is there one in there that says, "Get a room"?

FEZ: No, but here's one that says, "Kiss my brown ass." Sorry you had to hear that, Caroline.

CAROLINE: It's okay. She asked for it. Ooh, I gotta get going. I'll see you tonight.

FEZ: Yeah (Caroline leaves) Well, well, well. Look who has a lady. And to think, I was about to settle for you. Talk about dodging a bullet.

KELSO: Hey, hey. Check out this article in Boys’ Life.

ERIC: "The Square Knot: Not Just For Squares"?

KELSO: No, this one, about being an astronaut. I think I'm gonna do that.

JACKIE: Michael, I think there's a prerequisite for being an astronaut. You have to be not dumb.

KELSO: Nuh-uh. If they can send a monkey into space, they can send me.

HYDE: I don't know. Monkeys are pretty smart.

KELSO: All right. Fine, fine. Make fun. But when you see my shoe prints on the
moon, what are you gonna say then?

ERIC: Probably, "Hey, some monkey's wearing Kelso's shoes!"

HYDE: Hey, hey, astro-chimp. When you come back down to Earth, if your
parachute doesn't work you could always use Donna's monstrous panties.

ERIC: Hey, hey, hey, you guys. None of that when Donna gets here, okay? I don't need her mad at me on Valentine's Day.

HYDE: All right, Forman, relax. Wearing granny panties is a very sensitive issue that I don't find funny, and I refuse to exploit.

ERIC: Good.

Donna comes in

HYDE: Hey, everybody, look. It's Granny Panties!

ERIC: Hyde!

HYDE: Wha- Oh, sorry, man. It's in my nature to burn. Granny Panties understands. Don't you, Granny Panties?

DONNA: Okay, look. I didn't have anything else to wear. It was laundry day.

KELSO: I didn't know they made a washing machine big enough for those panties.

ERIC: Hey! Hey, you guys can all just shut up, okay? So she wears big panties. So what? Donna, look, I am really, really, really sorry.

DONNA: Eric, I'm fine. Let's just forget about it.

ERIC: Really? 'Cause when I saw your sweats around your ankles, I thought I was dead.

DONNA: Eric, I said, I'm fine.

ERIC: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You are so cool. You- l-You are seriously, like, the coolest girl ever.

KELSO: Wow. Chicks must really dig astronauts, 'cause it says here... that astronauts get all the Tang they want.

FORMAN KITCHEN

Eric is chopping up some greens

KITTY: Oh, Donna is gonna love you making dinner for her. There's nothing sexier than a man who cooks. Unless that man is Burt Reynolds. Then I don't give a darn what he's doing. He's just sexy! Ahahahahaha!

ERIC: Ooh-hoo, Mom has a thing for the Bandit.

KITTY: Ten-four. Ahahahaha! Go set the table. Oh, no, no, honey, use the
special china. You don't want to mess up a good thing with everyday dishes.

ERIC: Okay, but, Mom, it's not like I can mess this up. I mean, Donna is cool no matter what I do. Like, earlier, I pulled down her pants in front of everyone in the driveway...and she just stood there...

KITTY: You did what?!

ERIC: No, it was cool. She just...She said she was fine.

KITTY: Oh. Then I guess she's fine.

ERIC: Yeah, 'cause she said she was fine.

KITTY: Yeah, she wouldn't say she was fine unless she was fine. Would she?

ERIC: What are you talking about?

KITTY: What do you think I'm talking about?

ERIC: I don't know. Why are you doing this to me?

KITTY: Doing what?

ERIC: I don't know!

KITTY: Well, all I meant was, have a happy Valentine's Day.

ERIC: Oh (doorbell rings) Oh, okay. Thanks.

KITTY (going to answer the door): Although I doubt you will.

ERIC: Stop it!

FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Kitty opens the door to Kelso

KITTY: Hello, Michael.

KELSO: Hi, Mrs. Forman. Is Laurie home? I got a little surprise for her.

KITTY: Oh, you brought her flowers. Isn't that just a waste of money.

KELSO: No she deserves them. I mean, not many people get me, you know? I'm a complicated guy. So when everyone starts in on me I just like to be with my girlfriend, 'cause she's nice to me.

KITTY: Who are we talking about?

KELSO: Laurie.

KITTY: Laurie Forman?!

KELSO: Yeah, so I just want to tell her that I'm happy we're together on this, our nation's day of love.

KITTY: Oh, well, how patriotic of you, Michael. Ahahahaha!

KELSO: Yeah. I wanna be an astronaut.

KITTY: Oh. Well, I....I think you'd make a fine spaceman.

KELSO: Thanks (he walks up the stairs) You know, I gotta say, I think Laurie gets a lot of her sweetness from you.

KITTY: Laurie Forman?!

UPSTAIRS

Kelso is about to open Laurie's bedroom door when a man comes out

MAN: Bye, Laurie.

KELSO: Hey, man, what the hell are you doing?

MAN: What? Oh, yeah. I should, uh, probably go out through the window.

He goes back in again. Kelso is close to tears, he throws the flowers to the ground and leaves

FORMAN DINNER ROOM

Eric is lighting some candles, the table is set for dinner. Red and Kitty come in

KITTY: Oh, would you look at this? (she gives Eric a kiss) Ooh, a nice, romantic dinner for two. Donna's gonna love it.

RED: Why, is she bringing a date? Hehehehe!

KITTY: Red!

RED: I'm sorry, but that's funny.

DONNA (coming in): Hey, Mr. And Mrs. Forman.

KITTY: Oh, my. Look at this vision of lovely. Ahahaha! Oh, this is just like when you two were little, and you...you used to eat pretend supper. Only now it won't end up with Donna sitting on Eric's head. Ahahahaha!....Oh. Oh, Red, let's go.

RED: Kitty, that was just awful.

KITTY: I know. Keep walking.

ERIC: Wow, I was afraid that was gonna be awkward.

DONNA: Yeah. Eric, this looks so great.

ERIC: Yep. Shaked, baked and maked especially for you. And this here is a little somethin' I like to call..."a little somethin'."

DONNA: You got me a present? That's so sweet. I didn't get you anything, and you got me... panties? What the hell?

ERIC: Yeah, panties! Get it?

DONNA: No!

ERIC: To replace your ugly ones.

DONNA: Eric, when I said I didn't get it, I meant I didn't like it.

ERIC: No, see, you forgave me earlier and I figured if I brought it up, we could just, you know, share a laugh (chuckles weakly) Your turn.

DONNA: You know what? You're the one who doesn't get it (she leaves)

ERIC: Well, maybe you should explain it to me.

DONNA (outside the room): I heard that!

ERIC: This is the worst Valentine's Day ever.

FORMAN DINNER ROOM - THE CIRCLE

Eric, Fez, Hyde and Kelso are in the circle

ERIC: It's Donna's fault. Okay? I didn't make her wear that big, goofy underwear. I'm sorry, but if you're hanging out with this crowd you gotta know that eventually your pants are gettin' pulled down. Am I right?

FEZ: I am so glad I did not pull down Caroline's pants. I mean, if she asked me to, I would because I respect her wishes. And, also, I am so horny.

HYDE: Forman, when I told you it'd be funny to give Donna panties I meant it'd be funny to me (laughs) And it was.

KELSO (teary): This is what happened to my heart when I found out Laurie was cheating on me (he breaks a candy heart and eats it) It's lemon. I mean, how could she do this? I really thought we had somethin'.

HYDE: Probably the same way you did it to Jackie. Only this time it's even funnier, 'cause it's you. This is a good day.

FEZ: Tonight, I am going to ask Caroline to go steady with me because that is the last step before you can do it, right? Oh, how I want to do it. I am so horny.

PINCIOTTI KITCHEN

Donna and Jackie are eating Valentine's chocolates

JACKIE: So Michael cheated on me with Laurie, and Laurie cheated on him. Hmm!There is a God, and he's on my side.

DONNA: Well, I'm glad you're happy. My boyfriend's a giant baby. "Ooh, underwear is so funny. Poo-poo, pee-pee, caca."

JACKIE: You know what'll make you feel better? Let's go make mean jokes at
Michael's expense.

DONNA: How will that make me feel better?

JACKIE: 'Cause then I'll feel better, and I can cheer you up.

DONNA: On what planet did Eric think it was okay to pull down my pants? There are some things that are private, Jackie for instance, everything under my pants.

JACKIE: I agree. Keep it to yourself.

DONNA: Why doesn't Eric understand that when I said, "I'm fine," I meant, I will
be fine... so long as he kisses my ass for two weeks until I'm actually fine? He's,
like, brain damaged.

JACKIE: Look, he's just not a good boyfriend. You should dump him, and then we can move to Dallas and be weathergirls.

FORMAN KITCHEN

Eric is standing near the counter, Hyde is putting his jacket on. Red and Kitty come in

KITTY: So, how was your night?

HYDE: He blew it. Hehehehe!

KITTY: Well, what a surprise.

ERIC: Wait, you're saying that like it's not a surprise.

KITTY: Okay then (she leaves)

RED: You know, son, there's a time and a place to pull down a lady's pants. And a pickup game in our driveway is not one of 'em.

ERIC: Look, Dad, I know it was dumb but Donna said it was fine, and apparently it wasn't fine.

RED: Sit down. Eric...there's a pair of shoes up in your mom's closet. And one day, I accidentally stepped on one of them and scuffed it. "Don't worry," your mom said. "Everything's fine." But every now and then, she takes them out of the closet...and she puts them on, and she does this (mournfully) "Ohh." Then she takes them off and puts them back in her closet. Eric, this has been going on for 14 years.

ERIC: So why doesn't she just get new shoes?

RED (laughs): Oh, Eric..you are so young. You see, women are...What's the word I'm looking for here? Crazy.

ERIC: Oh. So, overall, you and Mom are okay. So Donna and me, we'll be okay, right?

RED: No. I scuffed your mom's shoe. I didn't pull her pants down in front of God and the foreign kid.

ERIC: So, what are you saying? I'm screwed with Donna?

RED: Hey, if it makes you feel any better I'm surprised you lasted this long.

AT THE MOVIES

Fez and Caroline are watching the movie

FEZ: I like popcorn. Do you like popcorn?

CAROLINE: Yes.

FEZ: I like candy. Do you like candy?

CARONLINE (giggling): Yes.

FEZ: I like soda. Would you like to go steady with me?

CARONLINE: Oh, yes, Fez!

FEZ: I think I might have tricked you. You do know we are going steady, right?

CARONLINE (giggling): Yes!

FEZ: What a magical night.

CAROLINE: Yes. I dreamed of this since the moment we met.

FEZ: Me too.

CAROLINE: You know, this is my favorite movie of all time. I've seen it, like, 16 times. That woman keeps calling Clint Eastwood and asking him to play "Misty" for her. Isn't it romantic?

FEZ: Romantic? But she is following him and bothering him and threatening him.

CAROLINE: Yeah, that's what I mean. If she can't have him, nobody can.

FEZ: Okay then.

CAROLINE: Oh, you're so cute. I love being your girlfriend. If you ever left me, I'd kill you.

FEZ (laughing, then realizing she isn't joking): O- Okay then.

PINCIOTTI KITCHEN

Donna and Jackie are still talking and eating chocolates

DONNA: What's up with Eric's head anyway? It's completely out of proportion to that skinny body. He looks like a Blow Pop.

JACKIE: You know, I bet Michael's gonna want me to feel sorry for him. But I'm gonna be all, like "Aww. Bite it, Casanova!"

Knock on door, Kelso comes in

KELSO: Hey, Jackie, Donna.

JACKIE (cheery): Hey, Michael. I heard what happened.

KELSO: Yeah. Me and Laurie are done.

DONNA: Doesn't Eric look like a Blow Pop?

KELSO: Uh, yeah, I guess. Yeah. Uh, listen, uh, Jackie, can we go somewhere and talk?

JACKIE: No! Look, anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Donna.

KELSO: Well, okay. Uh, listen what happened with me and Laurie got me thinking. And what she did was really a betrayal and it hurt so much.

JACKIE: So you want me to feel sorry for you.

KELSO: No, don't feel sorry for me.

JACKIE: Wait, what?

KELSO: No, I deserve this. After what I did to you? I don't know if you've made the connection, but there are a lot of similarities between what Laurie did to me and what I did to you. Except you and I were really in love and you trusted me. Jackie, I let you down, and I'm sorry.

JACKIE: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you just saying this stuff so I'll give you
Valentine sex? 'Cause this is a holy day, Michael and you should be ashamed of
yourself.

KELSO: No. I just said what I wanted to say, and I don't blame you if you never want to speak to me again. That's it. Good-bye (he leaves)

DONNA: Jackie, are you okay?

JACKIE: Sure. Great. I'm just... sitting here alone on Valentine's Day.

DONNA: Hey, I'm here.

JACKIE: Yeah, why are you here? You should be with the one you love. And you
love Eric for some reason.

DONNA: Shut up. There's a lot of reasons. He's not a Blow Pop. He's a sweetie pie.

JACKIE: Then you should be with him. Look, take it from someone who has loved and lost. Whatever he did isn't worth being alone on this holiest of days.

DONNA: Jackie, are you actually thinking about me instead of yourself?

JACKIE: Yeah! God, I've had way too much sugar!

FORMAN KITCHEN

Eric is putting away the left-overs. Donna comes in

DONNA: Look, Eric, we need to talk. Before, I told you everything was fine when it wasn't. So, I'm sorry for not letting you know what a colossally insensitive bonehead you are.

ERIC: Oh, apology accepted. That's... very big of you.

DONNA: No, I'm serious. So from now on when you piss me off... I will do you the
courtesy of blowing up in your face.

ERIC: Oh, Donna, that's all I ask. And as for my part, I've realized that somewhere along the way we crossed a line where... pulling down your pants in public is really no longer that funny. And I suppose that point came when you started letting me pull them down in private.

DONNA: Exactly.

ERIC: So...are we good?

DONNA: Yeah. (chuckles) No.

FORMAN DRIVEWAY

Eric is standing in the driveway, in his underwear, holding a basket ball

ERIC: Are we good now?

DONNA: Gettin' there.

ERIC: Just- Come on. Let me put my pants on.

DONNA: Nope.

ERIC: But... it's really cold. And...You know, I'm freezing off parts of my body that I know you've expressed appreciation for.

RED (walking up): Eric, for God's sakes, no one wants to see that (he goes back in again)

DONNA: Yeah, now we're good.