Épisode L'anniversaire de Kitty S03E17

Episode 316 Guide des épisodes Episode 318

#317 : L'anniversaire de Kitty

Red et Eric se retrouvent dans un sacré pétrin en oubliant l'anniversaire de Kitty. Kelso tente d'être l'ami de Jackie, et elle commence à le considérer comme son meilleur ami. Et après avoir passé quelques minutes avec Caroline, Hyde annonce à Fez que sa nouvelle petite amie est une psychopathe.

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Titre VO
Kitty's Birthday (That's Today ?)

Titre VF
L'anniversaire de Kitty

Première diffusion
27.02.2001

Bob et Midge sont absents de cet épisode.

Allée des Forman

Kelso est en train de travailler sur la voiture de Hyde. Éric est jaloux car la voiture de son amie est plus puissante que la sienne. Jackie se met à hurler car elle surprend Fez et Caroline en train de se bécoter à l'arrière de la voiture que Fez a fait passer pour la sienne. Caroline rassure le jeune homme, il n'a pas à lui mentir vu qu'elle 'est déjà sa petite amie. Mais en la ramenant chez elle, Fez continue ses affabulations.

Hyde veut emmener Kelso en virée pour séduire des filles mais il refuse, il est devenu plus mature. Parallèlement, Jackie demande à Donna de l'accompagner au centre commercial mais elle n'est pas vraiment intéressée. Entendant la conversation, Kelso propose à Jackie d'y aller et elle accepte avec joie. Pendant qu'elle va chercher ses affaires, les trois autres l'interrogent : qu'est-ce qui lui prend ? Il a un plan pour séduire Jackie, il va d'abord devenir son meilleur ami. Il s'en avec la jeune fille. Les trois autres se moquent car ils savent que son plan est voué à l'échec.

Cuisine des Forman

Kitty cuisine. Hyde lui offre un cadeau car c'est son anniversaire. Il lui a offert des ampoules mais Kitty se moque du cadeau, tellement elle est ému qu'il y ait pensé. Comme il n'a pas de dîner, elle lui donne un hamburger. Le jeune garçon s'éclipse alors que Red et Éric arrivent pour se mettre à table. Ils ne semblent pas y avoir pensé car Red lui parle d'un chèque pour le plombier et Éric se plaint de la nourriture. Énervée, Kitty vide les assiettes dans l'évier, arrache son tablier et s'en va. Les deux hommes Forman sont perdus.

The Hub

Kelso et Jackie parlent vêtements et semblent s'entendre. Hyde les rejoint, son plan pour séduire les filles est quelque peut tombé à l'eau. Il croise Caroline qui cherche Fez mais celui-ci est au bowling avec sa famille d'accueil. Caroline est désemparé car elle va devoir rentrer seule à pied, Hyde se propose pour la raccompagner. De retour à la table de Jackie et Kelso, la jeune fille annonce à Kelso qu'il est la meilleure amie qu'elle ait eu. Kelso perd son sourire.

Salon des Forman

Kitty regarde la télé pendant que son fils et son mari lisent. Elle attend toujours un signe de leur part mais rien. Elle décide d'aller se coucher. Ils ne comprennent toujours pas ses réactions. Red demande à son fils le programme télé et se rend compte de la date. Comme à son habitude, il accuse seulement Éric d'avoir oublié l'anniversaire de sa mère. Les deux hommes sont catastrophés et tentent de trouver une solution en regardant un épisode de « C.H.I.P.S. ».

Voiture de Hyde

Caroline parle de Fez et de l'affection qu'elle lui porte. Elle avoue à Hyde qu'elle retient sa respiration pour avoir une idée de la douleur qu'elle ressentirait si Fez la quittait. Hyde est choqué.

Chambre des parents Forman

Kitty lit tranquillement dans son lit lorsque Red et Éric surgissent en criant « Joyeux anniversaire ! ». Ils affirment avoir fait exprès de la laisser attendre et lui offrent ses cadeaux. Éric a offert à sa mère une carte du Wisconsin et des ballons tandis que son mari lui a acheté un entonnoir. Kitty devine tout de suite qu'ils sont allées dans une boutique de station-essence parce qu'ils ont oublié. Red ne trouve rien d'autre à dire que de l'accuser de ne pas avoir marqué la date dans le calendrier.

Salon des Forman

Le lendemain, Red se réveille tout habillé sur le canapé. Sa femme descend et il lui demande joyeusement ce qu'il y a au petit déjeuner. Réponse: un entonnoir.

Allée des Forman

Les garçons discutent. Kelso révèle que son plan avec Jackie a échoué. Fez a froid et voudrait aller à l'intérieur mais Éric ne veut pas affronter sa mère. Hyde lui fait remarquer qu'il n'a pas oublié l'anniversaire de Kitty. Fez se joint à la conversation et annonce qu'il ne risque pas d'oublier l'anniversaire de Caroline car elle lui a écrit au feutre indélébile sur le bras. Hyde profite de cette information pour révéler à Fez ce que lui a dit sa petite amie la veille, il la trouve complètement folle. Vexé, Fez préfère s'en aller.

Kelso continue de se plaindre, il ne voit aucun avantage à être la meilleure amie de Jackie mais Éric ne voit pas où est le drame. Kelso s'imagine alors habillée en demoiselle d'honneur au mariage de Jackie. Pour le réconforter, Éric lui demande d'imaginer sa vie sans Jackie. Il se voit enfermé dans une cellule. Kelso pense alors qu'il arriverait peut-être à l'embrasser car les meilleures amies le font souvent. Éric et Hyde se moquent de lui et lui assurent que oui, surtout après une bataille de polochons endiablée.

Cuisine des Forman

Donna cherche Éric et tombe sur une Kitty très énervée. Elle lui demande alors ce qu'il se passe et Kitty lui révèle que ses « hommes » l'ont oubliée. Donna veut tout de suite aller botter les fesses de son petit ami mais Kitty l'arrête. La pauvre se demande ce qu'elle a bien pu faire car elle se croyait être une bonne mère, ce que Donna lui confirme. Kitty remarque alors que Donna mange une tablette de chocolat pour petit déjeuner et lui prépare des gaufres maison. Donna est tellement touchée par ce geste qu'elle en veut encore plus aux garçons.

The Hub

Kelso continue de jouer le jeu et critique des filles en compagnie de Jackie. Il finit par lui proposer d'aller faire une bataille de polochons chez elle. Jackie accepte. Fez retrouve Caroline et lui demande carrément si elle retient sa respiration. Elle lui affirme que oui. Comme Hyde arrive, Fez va s'excuser car il disait vrai mais trouve que Caroline fait tout cela car elle est folle de lui alors ce n'est pas grave.

Cuisine des Forman

Red et Éric font le ménage. Kitty entre mais traverser la pièce sans leur adresser la moindre parole. Red se rend compte que la situation est grave et qu'il faut réaliser ce qu'elle demande depuis dix ans, même si ça ne les enchante pas.

Salle de danse

Red, Éric, Donna et Kitty sont tous habillés en cow-boys pour aller danser sur de la country. Red sait que sa femme en rêvait et les deux hommes tentent de s'exécuter sans trop rechigner. A la fin du cours, il lui offre une tasse de « Meilleure maman ». Kitty est émue et leur propose d'aller manger une glace. Si elle a pardonné rapidement, Donna leur en veut encore.

Cuisine des Forman

Red et Éric remplissent les calendriers avec les dates à ne pas oublier....mais ils oublient encore son anniversaire et sont obligés de recommencer.

Fairgirl

FORMAN DRIVEWAY

The guys are working on Hyde's car. The girls are watching

DONNA: Wow, Hyde. I can't believe it. Your own set of wheels.

HYDE: Yep. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. Oh, except for that one time Kelso swallowed that fishhook. That was pretty cool too.

KELSO: Yeah, that was one magic trick I could never get right.

ERIC: All right, Hyde, this car is fine but, I mean, it's no Vista Cruiser. How many miles you gettin' to the gallon?

HYDE: Oh, about 11.

ERIC: Damn! Okay, fine. But, you know, the Vista Cruiser can seat eight...nine if someone sits on the stain.

HYDE: Yeah, okay, Forman, but do you have any idea how many chicks I can fit in the flatbed? Thirty-two. And that's with Big Rhonda

ERIC: Damn!

JACKIE (pulling away the flatbed): Eww!

Fez and Caroline get out of the car

FEZ: Oh, hello.

HYDE: What are you doing back there, Fez?

FEZ: I was...I was just showing Caroline the back of my new car and my tongue.

KELSO: Fez, this isn't your car.

JACKIE: Yeah. Foreigners can't drive here unless it's a cab.

FEZ: Shut up.

CAROLINE: Isn't he cute? Fezzie, I told you. You don't have to try and impress me anymore. I'm your girlfriend now.

FEZ: I'm sorry, Caroline. From now on, I will be totally honest.

CAROLINE: Good. Now, come on, walk me home.

FEZ: Ah, yes. And on the way, I can tell you about the time I killed a shark with a coconut.

HYDE: All right, Kelso, let's go out cruising for hot chicks with self-esteem problems.

KELSO: Yeah. No, thanks, man. I don't do that stuff anymore.

HYDE: Shut up and come on.

KELSO: No, man, I mean it. I've matured.

JACKIE: Hey, Donna, wanna go to the mall? Rerun from What's Happening is
opening up the new Dairy Queen.

DONNA: Actually, Jackie, as fun as that sounds, um, no.

KELSO: What? "Hey, hey, hey." I'm in.

JACKIE: Okay. Well, let me get my beret and some Certs with Retsyn.

KELSO: Cool.

HYDE: Wait a second. You're too mature to go cruising with me, but you go to the mall with Jackie?

KELSO: Yeah. It's this new thing we're trying, man. We're friends. See, I did some reflecting, and I realized that Jackie is the only girl I want to be with.

ERIC: Today?

KELSO: No, every day. See, we were meant to be together. She just doesn't know
it yet. Yeah, but I have a plan.

DONNA: Oh, no.

KELSO: Oh, yeah. See, she wants to be just friends, right? Okay, so I'll be her
friend. But what she doesn't realize is that I'm also a boy. Yeah, and sooner or
later, friend is gonna lead down the path to boy. And then I'll be her friend-boy.

HYDE: That is a great plan.

JACKIE: Okay, I'm ready.

KELSO: Hey. Let's go, friend.

JACKIE: Okay (they leave)

DONNA: That is such a bad plan.

ERIC: Yeah, but, you know, on the bright side maybe we'll be there when it all
blows up in his face.

OPENING CREDITS

FORMAN KITCHEN

Kitty is standing at the counter making dinner, Hyde comes in

HYDE: Hey, Mrs. Forman. Happy birthday (he gives her a gift)

KITTY: Ohh. I can't believe you remembered. You are the first person to say anything all day. And how did you know I needed more flashbulbs? Thank you
(she gives him a kiss) So, do you wanna stay for dinner?

HYDE: Oh, no, thanks. I'm just gonna grab a sandwich.

KITTY: A sandwich! Steven, a sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.

HYDE: Oh, well, thanks, Mrs. Forman.

KITTY: Uh-huh.

ERIC: Hey, Mom, what's for dinner? I'm starving.

KITTY: Manwiches.

ERIC: Again? Ahh, we just had those.

RED: Kitty, I left my shirt on the bed. It needs to be ironed for tomorrow.

KITTY: Okay.

RED: Oh, and, uh I know you think I forgot, but I didn't.

KITTY: Oh, Red, I knew you'd remember.

RED: Yep, the check for the plumber is on the dresser.

KITTY: Oh. Good (she puts the plates on the table)

ERIC: Um is there anything else to eat?

KITTY: Well, you know what, honey? I don't give a good gosh darn what you eat!
(she throws the manwiches away, takes off her apron and storms off)

ERIC: Wow, she's really upset.

RED: Yeah. Nice goin'.

THE HUB

Kelso and Jackie are at a table, looking through a catalogue

KELSO: See, the boat neck adds dimension to your shoulders. And the plum color, that really accents your jewel-toned eyes.

JACKIE: Oh, my God. Michael, you just described my perfect outfit. You are so good at this.

KELSO: Yeah, I have a knack for ensembles (Hyde comes in) Hey, Hyde, how goes the cruising for chicks?

HYDE: It was going fine till I hit a patch of ice and almost took out a few of 'em. Big Rhonda cracked my brake light.

He walks off to order. Caroline walks up behind him

CAROLINE: Hi.

HYDE: Hey.

CAROLINE: Have you seen Fez?

HYDE: Uh, no. He went bowling with his host parents.

CAROLINE: Damn him! I'm sorry. I was just hoping he'd be here so we could
study together. Now I have to walk home alone in the dark. It's scary out there.
Somebody ran over Big Rhonda.

HYDE: Um, do you want a...

CAROLINE: Okay!

HYDE: Ride?

JACKIE: You know, Michael, I'm really enjoying our time together.

KELSO: Really? Me too.

JACKIE: Yeah, you know, the makeup, shopping, braiding each other's hair- you
are like the girlfriend I never had.

KELSO: Oh. Well, thanks, Jackie. I...Wait. Girlfriend?

JACKIE: Yeah. I mean, Donna's nice and everything but she kinda dresses like a trucker.

FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Red and Eric are reading, Kitty is watching TV

KITTY: The Waltons. Now, there's a grateful family.

RED: Mmm.

KITTY: And, boy, did they love their mother.

ERIC: Oh, great. I think I've got athlete's foot.

KITTY: I am- I am going to bed.

RED: Where'd your mother go?

ERIC: To bed. Man, what's wrong with her anyway?

RED: Oh, who knows? She's been moody all day. Let me see the TV Guide (takes
the guide) Ahh. Let's see. What day is it? Ah, it's the 13th. Yeah, it seems to me I was supposed to do something on the 13th. Oh, good Lord! You forgot your mother's birthday!

ERIC: Oh, no. Dad, this is bad. This is very, very bad.

RED: All right. Don't start gettin' all twitchy. Now, we gotta think. Let's watch Chips and think.

HYDE's CAR

Hyde is taking Caroline home

CAROLINE: So, Fez is really nice, huh?

HYDE: Yeah, Fez is a good guy.

CAROLINE: Yeah. You know, sometimes, when I'm trying to sleep at night I think about how much it would hurt if he ever left me. And then I say, "Fez would never leave me." But then I say, "We've only been going out for a short time. Maybe he would leave me." So then, I hold my breath until my lungs are about to explode because that's how much I think it would hurt if he ever did leave me. And then, when I regain consciousness....I start breathing again, and everything's fine. Oops. There's my house. Thanks! Bye! (she runs out)

HYDE: See ya...

MASTER BEDROOM

Kitty is in bed reading, Eric and Red storm in

ERIC & RED: Happy birthday!

KITTY: Oh, you remembered?

RED: Well, of course we remembered, honey. We just figured that we'd wait till there was only 15 minutes left in the day and you were good and mad and then we'd sneak up here and surprise the hell out of you.

KITTY: Wow, what a good plan. 'Cause I was awfully mad.

RED: Yeah. We really had you going.

ERIC: Here, Mom. Open this one first. It's from me.

KITTY: Well, thank you, honey. Oh, a map of Wisconsin. Oh, well, thank you.

ERIC: And, Mom, I got you these balloons too.

KITTY: "Knock out the knock-knocks at Schiffy's Gas-N-Go." Huh.

RED: Wait, Kitty, there's more!

KITTY: A funnel.

RED: 'Cause I know how much you like to pour things.

KITTY: Well, um, either these gifts are really thoughtful or you bought a bunch of crap at the gas station!

RED: What?

KITTY: Oh, admit it, Red Forman. You forgot my birthday.

ERIC: Quick, Dad, give her the lighter.

RED: Look, Kitty, I'm sorry. But it's just...Well, marking the calendar is your responsibility.

ERIC: Oh. Dad, no.

FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Red has slept on the couch, Kitty comes down the stairs

RED: Ah, good morning, sunshine. So, what's for breakfast?

KITTY: A funnel.

RED: Ow.

FORMAN DRIVEWAY

Hyde, Fez, Eric and Kelso are sitting on the Elcamino

KELSO: What the heck makes Jackie think I'm her girlfriend? All I did was pick out a few of her outfits, paint her nails and give her a facial.

HYDE: Gee, I don't know, Denise.

FEZ: Um, guys, can we go inside? I'm freezing my choo-choos off.

ERIC: No way. I'm not going in there. I forgot my mom's birthday.

HYDE: Really? 'Cause I remembered your mom's birthday.

ERIC: If you remembered, why didn't you tell me?

HYDE: How would that be funny?

FEZ: I don't ever have to worry about forgetting Caroline's birthday. She wrote it on my arm with permanent marker. Isn't she sweet?

HYDE: More like psycho.

FEZ: What are you doing calling my girlfriend psycho?

HYDE: I'm sorry, Fez, did I say psycho? I meant nut bag, head case, wackadoo.

She chokes herself, man.

FEZ: Well, Hyde, maybe- maybe you should- maybe you should choke yourself!
Good day.

HYDE: Fez...

FEZ: I said good day!

KELSO: Man, what fun is it being a girlfriend... if you don't even have your own boobs to play with?

ERIC: So what, Kelso? So you're her girlfriend. What could possibly be so bad about that?

KELSO: I-I'll tell you what could be so bad.

DREAM SEQUENCE

Jackie is getting married

JACKIE (wearing a wedding gown): Oh, Michael, this is the happiest day of my life. Thank you so much for being my maid of honor.

KELSO (wearing a bridesmaid dress): That's what girlfriends do. I'm just honored you asked me.

BACK IN THE DRIVEWAY

ERIC: Yeah, but...you know, on the flip side, try to think about your life without
Jackie at all.

Kelso sees himself behind bars, shivering in a cold and dark cell, with water dripping

KELSO: Wow. That's even worse. Hey, girlfriends sometimes make out together, right?

HYDE: Yeah, usually right after long, sweaty pillow fights.

ERIC: Yeah, man, it happens all the time.

KELSO: All right!

FORMAN KITCHEN

Donna comes in. Kitty is vigorously putting away the dishes

DONNA: Hey, Mrs. Forman. Is Eric home?

KITTY: Eric? Oh, you mean my son, the map giver. I don't know, and I don't care.

DONNA: Mrs. Forman, are you okay?

KITTY: Oh, I am just freakin' fine!

DONNA: What happened?

KITTY: Well, you know I love my family. It's just sometimes I want to get in the
car and run 'em all over. They forgot my birthday.

DONNA: I'm gonna go kick Eric's ass right now!

KITTY: No. I mean, it's one thing when they don't notice when I get my hair done differently, which they don't, but this is my birthday. Oh, I don't know. Maybe I expect too much.

DONNA: No, Mrs. Forman, you have every right to be mad. In fact, you should be madder. You're, like, the best mom in the world.

KITTY: Yeah! Thank you, Donna. I just wish my own family would say that once in a while. Oh, sweetie, that's not your breakfast, is it?

DONNA: Yeah.

KITTY: Oh. Ahahaha! Why don't you just let me make you some nice waffles instead?

DONNA: Oh, cool. I love frozen waffles.

KITTY: Oh, honey. No, no, no, no. I make my waffles from scratch.

DONNA: Those bastards!

THE HUB

Jackie and Kelso are commenting on other girls

JACKIE: Now, would you look at her boobs?

KELSO: I am. And it's... it's disgusting. I mean, what is she thinking, packing in those sweet melons like that? I can't even look away.

JACKIE: You know, Michael, I have to say, I'm really enjoying our new friendship together. I love spending time with you.

KELSO: Me too. Do you wanna go to your house and have a nice, sweaty pillow fight?

JACKIE: Okay (they leave)

FEZ (walking up to Caroline): Hello, Caroline.

CAROLINE: Oh, hi, Fez.

FEZ: So, hey, listen, just, uh-just curious um... do you sometimes choke yourself?

CAROLINE: Yeah. But I only do it because I love you more than anything in the world.

FEZ: Okay, I'm good with that. I'll get you a soda, lover. Don't forget to breathe while I'm gone.

HYDE: Hey, so how's it going with "Mental Mary"?

FEZ: I owe you an apology, Hyde. She is crazy. But she's crazy for me.

FORMAN KITCHEN

Eric and Red are standing in the kitchen talking

RED: Yeah. Oh! Here she comes.

Kitty walks in and Red and Eric start to scrub. She breezes past them into the living room

ERIC: Oh, my God. She didn't even look at us. I don't think I've ever seen Mom so mad. Have you?

RED: Not since she stopped drinking.

ERIC: What?

RED: Nothing. Look, obviously your mother's very upset about something. And desperate times call for desperate measures. For the last 10 years she's been asking us to do something and every time we say no. Because what she wants is the most horrible thing in the world.

ERIC: I won't do it.

RED: Oh, you will do it. And you will like it!

THE SQUARE DANCE HALL

Kitty, Red, Eric and Donna walk in, dressed in cowboy clothes. Kitty is looking very happy

ANNOUNCER: Need a partner Turn the partner by the right hand round

KITTY: I can't believe we're finally square dancing. Oh, this is so much fun.

RED: It looks like "Hee-Haw" puked in here.

KITTY: Come on, honey, let's dance.

ERIC: Oh, my God. This is awful.

DONNA: She made me waffles. Now promenade, you son of a bitch!

ANNOUNCER: Bow to your partner corners, all

Circle to the left go around that hall

Circle to the left all around you go

When you're there and then

Do an allemande left with the corner maid

Do-si-do with a partner there

Then start by the left in the middle

Go all the way around and then pick up your partner with an arm around

Start a Promenade and go around that town

Then when you're there, ladies you backtrack

Go the other way around

Meet a Partner

Turn the Partner by the right hand round

And back to the corner for an allemande left

Buck right in for right and left grand

Whoo-hee