Épisode Eric, le mal aimé S04E09 - That '70s Show Saison 4

Cuisine des Forman

Hyde et Kelso sont avec Kitty, qui prépare le dîner. Red et Éric rentrent du travail. Red apprend à sa femme que Price Mart va tourner des petits spots publicitaires pour chaque département et qu'on lui a confié celui de la réserve. En tant que manager, il va devoir choisir celui qui tiendra le rôle de son employé modèle. Éric se doute que cela va être lui mais, contre toute attente, Red choisit Kelso car il est robuste.

Kelso est ravi et Hyde jubile, sentant combien il va se rendre ridicule. Kitty essaie de consoler son fils en lui expliquant que Kelso est beaucoup plus costaud que lui pour jouer ce rôle. Vexé, Éric essaie de faire comprendre à son père qu'il est intéressé mais Red trouve qu'il est trop petit et trop frêle.

Salon des Forman

Éric se plaint à sa mère et vante ses talents d'acteur, en lui rappelant qu'il a joué des petits rôles pour des productions scolaires. Kitty tente de le réconforter une fois de plus, bien maladroitement. Donna fait irruption dans la pièce, elle passe chercher Kitty car elles vont déjeuner. Éric leur exprime son mécontentement mais elles n'en ont cure. Le pauvre déprime.

Sous-sol des Forman

Léo rejoint Fez et Hyde. Il leur annonce qu'un oncle lui a légué un million de dollar ! Généreux, il compte bien en faire profiter les autres et veut leur acheter plein de choses. Hyde et Fez ne se font pas prier pour le suivre.

Salon des Forman

Éric végète devant la télévision lorsque Jackie arrive. Elle cherche Donna, qui devait l'aider à trier son maquillage. Le jeune homme la traîne jusqu'à la cuisine pour lui montrer où se cache son amie.

Cuisine des Forman

Donna est en train de faire des cookies avec Kitty. Jackie râle car Donna ne l'aide pas comme prévu. Éric trouve leur complicité de plus en plus inquiète, il préfère quitter la pièce. Jackie ne comprend pas pourquoi Donna a besoin d'une autre amie qu'elle. Vexée, elle quitte également la pièce.

Salon des Forman

Jackie trouve que les jeunes et les vieux ne devraient pas être amis. Elle trouve qu'Éric doit absolument faire quelque chose, d'autant plus que ce serait dans son propre intérêt. En effet, Jackie lui rappelle que les femmes discutent beaucoup entre elles et que Donna et Kitty vont forcément parler de lui.

Sous-sol des Forman

Cercle. Éric commence à avoir peur de la complicité de entre sa mère et Donna. Hyde trouve que le choix de Red de se pencher vers Kelso est encore plus inquiétant. Mais ce dernier s'en fiche et est très content, il veut s'inspirer du jeu de Travolta pour le petit film. Taquins, Hyde et Éric l'encouragent à le faire, sachant que cela va énerver Red. Éric revient sur le sujet Kitty/Donna, il ne voit pas cette amitié d'un bon œil car elles vont parler de lui. Jackie est avec eux ; elle confirme que Donna parle beaucoup, elle lui a d'ailleurs avoué que Éric se maquille le jour de la photo de classe. Hyde est ravi car Léo lui a acheté pleins de magazines pornos et Kelso se met à imiter Travolta.

Cuisine des Forman

Jackie et Éric tiennent à s'expliquer avec Kitty. Éric se lance, il s'imagine très bien qu'elles vont parler de lui. Il les voit discutant dans la cuisine. Donna a la même coupe de cheveux que Kitty, qui lui montre des photos d'Éric nu quand il était bébé. Il a un tout petit sexe. De retour dans le présent, Kitty préfère en rire et s'en va.

Price Mart

Red explique à Kelso ce qu'il va devoir faire mais le jeune homme enlève sa veste, il imagine un tout autre scénario. Il se voit déambuler dans la rue à la manière de John Travolta dans le film « la fièvre du samedi soir », un pot de peinture dans chaque main. De retour dans la réalité, Red lui explique qu'il doit se contenter de ranger ou le manager le tuera. Kelso y croit à fond et s'imagine déjà un autre scénario.

Salon des Forman

Éric trouve enfin sa mère seule. Cette dernière devine qu'il n'est pas très à l'aise avec le fait qu'elle fréquente Donna et elle va arrêter. Elle le réconforte aussi à propos du choix de son père et lui rappelle qu'il est beaucoup plus intelligent que Kelso. Son fils lui fait remarquer que c'est ce qu'elle aurait du dire devant tout le monde ce à quoi sa mère rétorque qu'elle ne voulait mettre personne mal à l'aise. Mais on comprendre qu'Éric a été mal à l'aise.

Magasin

Hyde et Fez essaient des tenues. Si le premier reste dans le classique, le deuxième ne se gêne pas pour prendre des choses différentes. Léo va tout leur payer. Fez en profite pour lui glisser qu'il aimerait bien avoir un perroquet.

Salon des Forman

Red lit tranquillement son journal lorsque que Kelso arrive, accompagné d'Éric. Kelso a apparemment plusieurs idées à proposer à Red, ce qui amuse son fils. Red rappelle au jeune homme qu'il n'a pas le droit de soumettre ses idées mais Éric l'encourage à le faire. Kelso explique alors qu'il aimerait bien que son personnage ait une petite amie. Jackie arrive et se jette dans ses bras. Red refuse tout net, sans même lever les yeux.

Perron des Forman

Kitty explique à Donna combien son fils est mal à l'aise de les savoir si proches. Elles doivent arrêter de se voir. La pauvre Donna est déçue, être avec Kitty lui permettait de combler l'absence de sa mère. Émue, Kitty la prend dans ses bras. Éric choisit ce moment pour ouvrir la porte d'entrée.

Sous-sol des Forman

Léo a acheté plein de choses aux garçons, dont des bonbons et le fameux cacatoès. Hyde demande alors à Léo de leur parler de son oncle et il leur montre une lettre. Hyde comprend tout de suite que son ami s'est fait berner par une publicité. Il n'y a pas d'argent et ils vont devoir tout rendre. Fez dit au revoir au perroquet.

Price Mart

Kelso persiste à jouer comme John Travolta. Red n'en peut plus et le vire. Il prend finalement son fils qui se débrouille très bien et joue parfaitement le rôle de l'employé idéal. Son père lui exprime d'ailleurs son contentement. Éric, content, se moque gentiment de son père en lui disant « je t'aime ».

Cuisine des Forman

Éric est dans la cuisine lorsque Kitty et Donna rentrent d'une virée shopping. Il ne fait aucun commentaire négatif car il a compris que Donna a besoin de Kitty. Cependant, il leur demande de ne pas parler de lui et ne pas regarder de photos de lui, nu. Les filles se moquent de ses réclamations alors il s'en va.

Salon des Forman

Donna et Kitty regardent des photos de Éric bébé, nu.

Fairgirl

 

FORMAN KITCHEN

Kitty is cooking. Hyde is sitting at the table, Kelso is sitting at the counter. Red and Eric walk in

KITTY: Well, here are my boys! How was work?

ERIC: Oh, you know,just another day of restocking upper Point Place with durable household goods. Sleep soundly, Wisconsin.

RED: I got some big news from the Price Mart home office.

HYDE: They finally gonna let you physically discipline the workers?

RED: No, but I still have a free hand at home.

HYDE: Right.

RED: Headquarters is having every manager make a departmental training film. And they picked me for the stockroom.

KITTY: Stockroom. Wow!

RED: Yeah! Steve from Oshkosh got ice and snow management. (chuckles) Loser.

KITTY: Well, Red, that is wonderful.

RED: Yeah, I know. Every single Price Mart stock boy will be trained in the Red Forman way.

ERIC: Oh, you mean, undermining their self-esteem until they're too weak to fight back?

RED: If you would just zip it for a second you might be interested in hearing who I want to play the stock boy.

ERIC: Look, Dad, I appreciate the thought…

RED: I'm gonna use this idiot! (he slaps Kelso on the back)

KELSO: All right!

Hyde laughs

OPENING CREDITS

FORMAN KITCHEN<

KELSO: Man, I guess my movie career is getting started sooner than I thought!

ERIC: Kelso's playing the stock boy?

HYDE: This is my favorite thing ever.

KITTY: Well, Michael does have marvelous bone structure. Ahahahaha! Oh, but you will too, honey, once you fill out.

KELSO: Oh, man! Mom burn!

HYDE: Yep. That's twice the normal burn.

ERIC: Dad, how can you choose Kelso to play the Price Mart stock boy?

RED: You have a better suggestion?

ERIC: Hello! I am a Price Mart stock boy. I just came from stocking. At Price Mart. And I am currently wearing a Price Mart stock boy smock.

RED: Good point, Eric. Give your smock to Kelso.

KELSO: Oh, I don't think my broad, photogenic shoulders are gonna fit in that little thing.

RED: Now, don't take this personal, son. You're just too... twitchy and skinny.

ERIC: Well you know, the camera adds 10 pounds.

RED: Yeah, 10. Not 40.

FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Eric and Kitty walk into the living rom

ERIC: How could he pick Kelso to play the stock boy? I'm the one with the acting experience. Remember? I was Mushroom Number Two in Alice in Wonderland.

KITTY: But you were Mushroom Number One in my heart.

DONNA (coming in): Hey.

ERIC: Oh, hey. What's up?

DONNA: We're going to lunch.

ERIC: We're going to lunch?

KITTY: Well actually, honey, we're going to lunch.

ERIC: You and I are going to lunch?

KITTY: Well, no.

ERIC: You and Donna and I are going to lunch?

KITTY: Well almost, honey.

ERIC: You and Donna are going to lunch?

DONNA: Nothing gets past you, Einstein.

ERIC: I don't think I like the idea of you two going out to lunch together.

KITTY: Well, what if we bring you back a sandwich?

ERIC: Well, a sandwich isn't gonna make me feel better, Mom.

KITTY: Okay, then. We're leaving.

ERIC: Well, in that case, I would like a sandwich. Yeah, I don't like this day.

FORMAN BASEMENT

Hyde and Fez are in the basement, Leo walks in

LEO: Hey, dudes.

HYDE: Hey, Leo man, Huggy Bear called. He wants his suit back.

LEO: Huggy Bear? This is my suit, man.

FEZ: So, to what do we owe the fancy pants?

LEO: Great news, man! I inherited a million bucks from my dead uncle!

HYDE: Shut up.

FEZ: No way.

LEO: It's true! So, come on! Let's share the wealth! Come on. I'll buy you anything you want.

HYDE: Does that include burgers and nudie mags?

LEO: Include? That's half the budget, man.

FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Eric is sitting on the couch. Jackie comes in

JACKIE: Eric, have you seen Donna? She was supposed to help me sort out my daytime cosmetics from my nighttime cosmetics but she never showed up.

ERIC: Oh, you haven't heard? Donna's got a new friend and I, for one, think it's time you met her.

FORMAN KITCHEN

Donna and Kitty are cooking together. Jackie and Eric walk in

JACKIE: Donna! What are you doing?

KITTY: We invented a new cookie. It's a variation of the snickerdoodle. We're calling it the ''DonnaKitty.'' Or the ''Ditty.'' Ahahaha! We haven't decided.

JACKIE: Donna, you're supposed to be sorting... as in, my cosmetics.

DONNA: Oh, yeah. I'm real sorry I missed that.

ERIC: It started as an annoying, but innocent lunch. And now they're inventing cookies. It's growing, man. It's the freakin' Blob (he leaves)

JACKIE: Donna, why do you need a new friend? Haven't I always been there for you?

DONNA: Uh, no.

JACKIE: I hope your cookies burn! (she leaves)

FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Jackie walks in

JACKIE: Eric, old people and young people are not supposed to spend time together. It's unnatural.

ERIC: What am I supposed to do about it?

JACKIE: Well, you better do something. You know what girls talk about when they get together?

ERIC: Sugar and spice and everything nice?

JACKIE: That's what we're made of, you dumb-ass. They talk about men and that would be you. Well, barely.

ERIC: You know, you could really use a refill on the ''everything nice.''

FORMAN BASEMENT – THE CIRCLE

Eric, Hyde, Kelso and Jackie are in the circle

ERIC: You know, I wasn't that worried about Donna and my mom talking about me but now that I'm all paranoid I'm all, like paranoid. I mean, when did it become okay for them to be friends?

HYDE: Right after your father replaced you with a semi-literate pretty boy.

KELSO: That's me. So, I've been thinking about great actors to model myself after and I choose Travolta.

HYDE: Kelso... I can think of no better way to impress Red than by acting like Travolta in his industrial film. Bravo, man.

ERIC: That is good advice. Man, I don't want Donna and my mom talking about me.

JACKIE: Yeah, and Donna's a big mouth. Like, she told me how you wore makeup to last year's class picture.

ERIC: What? HA, I did not! I did not. I had a zit. Stop looking at me.

HYDE: Forman, you and I are both victims of parental abandonment. Luckily, I have a rich hippie benefactor. He bought me nudie mags I'd never even heard of.

KELSO (as Travolta): Yeah, I'll stock this shelf! But someday I'm gonna dance across this whole city (his own voice) That's dead-on.

FORMAN KITCHEN

Kitty is sitting at the kitchen table. Jackie and Eric walk ik

JACKIE: Okay, we need to talk. It's about, shall we say, your new crowd.

ERIC: And don't even pretend you and Donna aren't talking about me. I know what's going on here, and it goes a little something like this...

He pictures Kitty and Donna together, Donna has the same hairdo as Kitty

KITTY (with Eric's voice): Oh, honey, you look wonderful.

DONNA (with Eric's voice): Say, can we look at Eric's naked baby pictures again?

KITTY (with Eric's voice): They're right here! My, you could tell even then he'd always be small.

DONNA (with Eric's voice): Yeah, he really is tiny. It's not satisfying.

KITTY (with Eric's voice): Well, how could it be, dear?

DONNA (with Eric's voice): But at least he's nice.

KITTY (with Eric's voice): Yeah, he's nice. For a nancy boy! Hahahahahaha!

Back in the present...

ERIC: So, what do you say to that?

KITTY: Ahahahahahahaha! (she walks off, still laughing)

PRICE MART STOCKROOM

Red and Kelso are in the stockroom, with a camera

RED: All right, Kelso. You'll just go through a few typical stock boy tasks while I firmly, but kindly, oversee you.

KELSO: Got it.

RED: All right. Let's get started.

Kelso takes of his smock and shakes his hips

RED: Kelso what the hell are you doing?

KELSO: Oh see, I'm going for a Travolta thing. Okay, my character's actually a dancer who's just stocking shelves until he makes it big. (Red stares at him) All right. Let me paint a picture for you. Just close your eyes. (Red keep staring) Okay, imagine with your eyes open. Just come with me.

Women are singing a disco tune with words like "Stock, stock, he's a stockboy" while Kelso walks the streets in his smock, carrying some cans. He does a dance move but that doesn't look really smooth

RED: Just stack the cans, moron.

KELSO: But why am I stacking cans? See, I'm thinking that the manager is a bad guy. So why would I stack cans for him?

RED: Because if you don't stack the cans the manager is going to kill you.

KELSO: Oh! So I'm afraid for my life? That works. All right. Let's act!

FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Kitty is sitting on the couch. Eric comes down the stares

ERIC: Oh, no. You're all alone. Where's your little buddy, Skipper?

KITTY: Okay, sweetie. My friendship with Donna is making you uncomfortable, so I'm gonna call it off.

ERIC: Really?

KITTY: Mmm-hmm.

ERIC: Well, thank you. Maybe some of your loyalty will rub off on Dad.

KITTY: Oh, don't let that bother you. Michael may have movie-star good looks... but you are much, much smarter than he is.

ERIC: Okay, why couldn't you have said that in front of everyone instead of how great Kelso's bone structure is?

KITTY: I don't want to make anybody feel bad.

ERIC: Well, good job.

THE MALL

LEO: All right, guys. Let's shop!

The guys come in and out of the fitting rooms in different outfits

HYDE: Thanks again, Leo.

FEZ: Yes, thank you. You know what would make this outfit perfect? A cockatoo.

LEO: Then we'll get a cockatoo. Or three!

FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Red is reading. Eric and Kelso come in

KELSO: Hey, Red, listen, I've got this great new idea I want to lay on you about our movie.

ERIC: Dad, I've heard this idea and speaking as an unbiased observer with no score to settle it is great. Go!

RED: Kelso, you don't get to have ideas.

ERIC: Dad, if I could just interject. This idea will literally change industrial filmdom forever. Go get 'em, Kelso! Go!

KELSO: Okay. The stock boy has a love interest.

RED: No.

KELSO: Now, before you say no, I've already found the perfect person.

JACKIE (coming in): Oh, stock boy, I love you!

RED: No. Get out.

FORMAN FRONT PORCH

Kitty and Donna are sitting on the porch

KITTY: Okay, um, Eric's uncomfortable because he thinks we talk about him… which we don't. Although that story about him wearing makeup to his class pictures was a hoot. Hahahaha! But I guess what I'm saying is, um we probably shouldn't see each other anymore.

DONNA: But it's been so nice having someone to talk to since my mom left.

KITTY: I know.

DONNA: Someone who understands what I'm going through.

KITTY: Oh, honey.

DONNA: Someone to make banana bread with. I ate that for dinner three nights in a row.

KITTY: Oh, you poor, sweet girl! (they hug)

ERIC (opening the door): What the hell?

FORMAN BASEMENT

The gang is back in the basement. With a cockatoo

LEO: Boy, being a millionaire is great.

HYDE: Well, at least you put the money to good use. Fun Tart?

FEZ: Don't mind if I do. Candy button? I've got a million of them.

HYDE: So Leo, man, tell us about your Uncle Ed. Why'd he leave you all his money?

LEO: Check it out, man. It's all in this letter he sent me.

HYDE: Your Uncle Ed is Ed McMahon?

LEO: Yeah. Who knew I was Scottish?

FEZ: Uh-oh.

HYDE: Damn, Leo, you didn't inherit a million dollars. That's a sweepstakes contest.

LEO: Well, then who has my money?

FEZ: There is no money, you son of a bitch!

LEO: Oh. Wow. I guess all this stuff has to go back.

FEZ: Oh, that means you too, Feathery Frank. Good day.

FRANK (sqeaky): But, Fez…

FEZ: I said, good day.

PRICE MART STOCKROOM

Red is looking pretty desperate

KELSO (as John Travolta): I'm leaving Brooklyn, Mister Formanelli. And when I get to Manhattan, I'm gonna be a star! (In his normal voice) So, what do you think?

RED: You're fired (Eric walks in with a box) You.

The camera zooms in on Eric. A black screen appears with white letters reads: Price Mart Industrial Film #274 "THE STOCKBOY"

VOICE OVER: Price Mart is only as strong as its weakest stock boy. Just look at what one well-trained worker can accomplish. Neat, efficient, organized. The Price Mart way. And each job completed with that award-winning Price Mart attitude. Remember,you can't spell stock boy without ''Oh, boy!''

We see Eric stock and price stuff with a smile. He mops the floor while Red supervises him

RED: Perfect.

ERIC: Well, who would have thought a stock boy would do a good job playing a stock boy? Yeah, I mean, it's a topsy-turvy world.

RED: Yeah. You did a good job.

ERIC: Wait a minute. Are you proud of me?

RED: No, no, no, no, no. I didn't say that.

ERIC: So...do we hug now?

RED: Men don't hug.

ERIC: My daddy loves me!

RED: Shut it!

ERIC: I love you too, Daddy!

FORMAN KITCHEN

Eric is sitting at the kitchen table. Donna and Kitty come in, carrying bags

ERIC: Oh well, look who's here. Do a little shopping, ladies?

DONNA: Well, it's not like I can take my Dad shopping. I mean, every time the sales lady brings over some underwear he gets embarrassed and goes ''Whoo-hoo!''

KITTY: So, I suppose you have something snarky to say about that.

ERIC: You know what? I don't.

DONNA: Really?

ERIC: No. Look, your mom can't take you shopping, so you know what it's cool with me if you guys want to hang out.

KITTYL Honey, I am so glad you understand.

DONNA: Yeah, Eric, thanks.

ERIC: Yeah. Yeah, just, look, please no talking about me, okay? And no looking at my naked baby pictures either. They're... misleading.

KITTY: Honey, I've already seen you naked.

ERIC: Mom.

KITTY: Oh, and she's already seen you naked! You know what? From now on, that's all we should talk about.

ERIC: Okay. Leaving now.

END CREDITS

FORMAN LIVING ROOM

Kitty and Donna are on the couch, looking at baby pictures

KITTY: Okay, here he is on the potty. Look how hard he's concentrating. Oh, I have some earlier ones. Look at that baby.  Didn't he have the cutest little behind?

DONNA: Yeah! So when did he lose it?

KITTY: Right around when he turned 10. It was the strangest thing. Poof. Like someone ironed him.

 

THE END.